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I think we’ve all been here before. You get invited to a friend’s house for dinner. It’ll be fun they said, except Jennifer didn’t tell you it was a burrito dinner party. An hour later it hits you. Suddenly you have to use the bathroom but you use the one upstairs because you know you’re going to be a while. Everything goes according to plan until uh oh, the water starts to rise. Luckily old Inspector Pumphead is here to walk you through this disaster so you know exactly what to do.

The first and perhaps most important step is to not panic. After that, we want to stop the bowl from filling up. We don’t want that water spilling over the bowl and turning the bathroom into the world’s saddest pond. To do this, start by taking the lid off the tank. Next, close the toilet flapper. The flapper is the little rubber disk at the bottom of the tank, it releases water from the tank into the bowl. The water in the tank isn’t dirty so don’t fret about sticking your hand in there.

Now it’s time to get out a plumber’s best and most reliable friend, the handy plunger. Inspector Pumphead’s plunger is in a break glass in case of emergency case next to his toilet, but yours is hopefully close by. Having the right plunger is important. Funnel cup plungers work best as they have a flange on their rubber cup that creates the best seal between bowl and plunger. Now here’s an industry secret: run your plunger under hot water for a few minutes before use. This will soften up the rubber and create a better seal.

Believe it or not there is a right way to plunge. Get a solid seal between your plunger and the exit hole of the toilet and start plunging. The pull back motion is just as important as the push-down. After a couple strokes with the plunger, it’s time to flush the toilet. If the water goes down and clears the bowl, congratulations! Your clog is solved. If not, you may have to repeat closing the flapper and plunging a couple more times until the clog is gone.

If you don’t have a plunger handy (or are too embarrassed to ask for one), you can pour hot water and a few drops of soap or dishwasher detergent into the clogged toilet. Let these sit in the toilet for 20 minutes. The heat from the water may break up the clog and make plunging unnecessary or at least make plunging much easier.

If the methods detailed above haven’t worked and this clog has become the bane of your existence, you can always use an auger. What’s an auger you might be asking? An auger is a long, snaking cable that can reach down into the toilet. Augers should be available at your local hardware store. To use an auger, the cable end goes into the toilet and the other end has a crank attached that can extend the auger. The auger will either loosen the clog or hook onto it. If the auger hooks onto the clog, pull the clog out and discard.

If none of this sounds like fun or if the clog is serious, you can always schedule an appointment with a plumber. If you have water backing up into your sinks and showers whenever you flush, this is a sign that your main line is clogged and this has become a job for a professional.

Remember that cleaning your toilet regularly can help prevent clogs in the future and there is such a thing as toilet paper etiquette. I’m glad we could go on this journey together but next time tell Jennifer to just order a pizza.

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